This video/post was requested by Cheryl (one of my YouTube followers). She lost her mother a couple of months ago and is understandably having a hard time adapting to the loss.
The truth is that no matter who we are or where we come from we are all going to face the loss of someone we love at some point in our life. It is the cycle of life and it will never feel right the way, age or timing our loved one passed. There is really not a right or wrong way to deal with the loss of someone we love. Everybody reacts to and handles grief differently.
We have to work with our pain at our own pace and with time we will just adopt to our new life and feelings. But here are some steps that will help you cope with the pain while your heart is healing.
Understand that grief is a process and like any other process it has stages. As humans we all go through the same 5 stages of grief when we lose someone. These stages are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Some stay in one stage longer than others; everyone is different. This is the natural reaction from our body when facing grief and it is important to understand what stage we are in to cope with our emotions better. So what stage do you think you are in right now?
Acknowledge your pain and don’t be afraid, embarrassed or too proud to face it. If you need to scream, cry, talk it out… do it! It’s good to cry and allow all your feelings to come out. This will help you with the process. Allow yourself to feel the pain you are feeling and remember that this level of pain is not going to remain forever. You will eventually adapt to the new life style. The sting of their absence will always be present, but with time it will become easier.
Some ways to release pain is by talking with someone about how you are feeling while letting all your thoughts and tears out. You can also grab a journal and write down your thoughts and what you are feeling at the moment. Grieve your loss the best way that suits you and remember to not keep your feelings bottled inside. Letting your feelings out is therapeutic and even though it doesn’t bring you your loved one back we at least allow our body to react to our grief, helping us on the process.
Keep Up With Habits
Try to continue with your normal activities and life. Remember that you have control over your feelings and pull yourself up to continue carrying on with your day to day habits. This will not just help you move on, but it will keep your mind busy. Continue eating healthy, sleeping your 8 hours and exercising. Remember that your loved one would want to see you healthy and moving on with your life. That doesn’t mean that you are not thinking and remembering them, it just means that you are continuing to take care of yourself, your loved ones and your mental health.
You don’t have to go through this alone. Don’t isolate yourself, unless you need a bit of time alone. You do need other people! Don’t underestimate the power of spending time with people that love you and can give you strength. People can help cheer you up; give you advice and allow you to say exactly what you are feeling and what you need to say. People want to be there for you. It could be your spouse, a friend, a pastor, a family member or even a professional that can help you cope with your feelings and thoughts.
I’m sure you know there will be a lot of changes in your life now that this special someone is not around. This will be hard, but make sure you go through a whole year in your head imagining mother/father’s day, Christmas, birthdays and prepare yourself to face these special occasions without them. The point is to accept that there will be changes in your life and plan and prepare ahead of time. It will help lessen the blow when that time of year comes around.
I know people have different beliefs, but as a Christian friend I want to remind you that God is always there for you. Pray and ask Him to give you strength and wisdom to cross this difficult moment. In Matthew 7:7 He says: “ask and you shall receive”. God will always be your comfort in moments of need. Remember your loved one is in a better place with Him and you WILL see them again. Although it seems hard to picture life without them, they are watching you from heaven and are very proud of you, so don’t let them down. Do the things that you know would make them happy. There is nothing you can do to get them back, but there is a lot you can do to make them proud!
Try to Step Out of Pain
Do things that make you happy. Don’t feel guilty to try to step out of the grief and do things that make you enjoy. Remember that special someone is watching from heaven and would love you to be happy. So give it a try! If you need some ideas watch the video: 10 activities that will make you happy.
There will be times where you think you are doing better and randomly a memory of that person will come back. You will miss them, it will hurt, and you may cry and that is perfectly normal and okay. Remember to let your feelings go and try to always remember the great moments you had together, that you will see them again and to make them proud as much as you can! Remember that this isn’t “Goodbye,” it’s “See you later.”
So, Cheryl and everyone else who is watching this video and is going through grief please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you! I hope this video helps you in some way!
If you know someone who is going through grief and needs this video/post please share and like so it can reach out more people in need.
Stay motivated and keep pressing forward to live the life of your dreams and become the happiest woman you know!
I’ll see you next week on Diana Bryant TV.
I dare you to dream Big!